I love my Bitch Magazine. I hate the title, but I love the magazine. It comes to my door four times a year and not one page gets ignored. Bitch Magazine touts itself as being the “feminist response to pop culture.” It has articles ranging from feminism in the Mormon culture, by referencing HBO’s Big Love, to transgendered finishing school for the newly-made woman.

The reason I bring up my lovely little Portland-born magazine (aside from the fact that I want to give it more exposure) is that in the article I was reading last night, Bitch dove into the topic of women in film.

In the article, titled Take 2.0 by Alexa Tsoulis-Reay, the author offered the statistic that women constitute “just 16 percent of all producers, executive producers, writers, cinematographers, and editors working on the 250 top-grossing domestic films.” For you mathematicians, that means that 84% of them are men. 84%. Why?

Even as the active feminist that I am, I fully admit that men generally tend to be stronger at certain types of tasks, just as women are naturally better at other tasks. But there are some jobs that men are “better” at, or more prone to do, because of the testosterone-filled, masculine confidence they have that women don’t have as much of. This is, of course, just my opinion. But look at stand-up comedians, for example. If you look at most “Top 10” lists of comedians, or the like, you’ll see that almost every, if not every, person on that list is male. Women are naturally just as funny as men. But that’s the problem- it’s just “naturally.” Our environments shape what we want to do and what we believe we are capable of doing. A boy as a class clown gets props in school for being that way. A girl? Yeh, she might be called “weird.”

Becoming a movie director, writer, producer, etc., takes a level of chutzpah and balls that women are generally not encouraged to have. Men are taught to be big, bold, powerful, commanding, and put their balls on the table. Women? Not.

I’m a woman writer. A screenwriter. But I have to push through my feminine self-doubt and lack of confidence all the time when I’m trying to write a script with no reservations of “What will they think?” or “Will they think I’m… weird?”

Today’s goal: write 2 more pages of my play in order to reach my goal of 10 additional pages all together (equalling a total of 60 pages, ultimately.)

And I’ll do it all while grabbing my balls with gusto.