The Dramatists Sourcebook and I lay in bed together yesterday morning. It was cold in our apartment, so I snuggled under the covers while clasping the sides of its bendable paperbackness. My husband was in the other room, so I was able to turn its pages in private – and he never even knew I was doing it.

Thanks to Amazon, my book arrived yesterday morning (so quickly that I wondered if it had been waiting outside my door for me to go on Amazon and order it; as if it had been hoping I would choose it. It wasn’t what I expected. I thought it was going to be a big 300+ page read on how to be a Playwright. Uh huh. No. This book is a 5 page read on the acknowledgements (or whatever that opening section was I didn’t read) and then the preface, written by none other than Tony Kushner. The remaining 348 (give or take) pages are lists of theaters, production companies, theater lit agents, grants and fellowships, and more. I felt kind of like the girl who just learned that women were given the right to vote, and goes around telling everyone the good news, to a morass of replies of “Yes, girl, we know.”

Mr. Kushner (I call him that cuz we’re not that tight) explains the etiquette and standards of formatting and submitting your plays. And then you get to the first list, which is my favorite and the one detailing theaters accepting submissions, where it spells out each and every theater on its list by the medium in which they accept submissions, their guidelines, what types of plays they’re most interested (yes, don’t send Six Degrees of Separation to the Texas Christian Children’s Theater.)

I won’t bore you by going on and on, but I feel as though I’ve hit the motherload of playwriting submission research. I am coveting this book like a lifeline on Who Wants to be a Millionaire.

Now I just have to confess my transgressions to my husband.