My new fetish is idioms. Mmm mmm mmmm, I do love them so. We use them more times a day than most of us realize.

iPhone app

This is the idiom app you should get

“Why, I’m not even sure what an idiom is, Miss. I’m sure I rarely use them.” You might say. Let me give you some examples of regular, every day idioms:

  • If that guy had the opportunity, he’d cheat on his wife at the drop of a hat.
  • I must’ve done something wrong… my proctologist has been giving me the cold shoulder.
  • Just because I spit in the customer’s food, it gave my boss no right to fly off the handle.
  • I should do hallucinogens more often. I was on cloud 9!

I’m an iPhone person (though if the damn thing hangs up on one more of my calls because the stupid sensor is too sensitive, I’m gonna punch Steve Jobs’ coffin in the face.) My new favorite app to go along with my new favorite fetish is the Idioms app. It costs a few dollars (and I hate spending money on apps) but it’s worth it.

So anyway, I was thinking about how if you’re going to try and make a career for yourself in a field you need to fight to get into (i.e. artist, starting your own business) you need to pull out all the stops. This got me to thinking: what does it really mean to pull out all the stops? Here’s what my idioms app says:

“The round knobs on an organ console are called stops. When one is pulled out, a new rank of pipes comes into play, introducing a different effect. Open stops also make the organ louder.”

What this means for me today is that I need to throw my pride and ego out the window and contact every person I can think of who may be of use to me in selling my screenplay… even the dude I haven’t seen in two years, who may not even know I’m a writer, and who may think it’s strange that I’m contacting him when he’s just a writer himself. Doesn’t matter. I’m pulling out all the stops.

I’m making this one fucking LOUD organ, damnit!