A lot of self-help books on following intuition, or listening to your subconscious, recommend responding to synchronicities, or fortunate coincidences, in your life. That is to say, if you’re desperate for money and the next day someone shows up at your door with a bag of gold, consider it before saying no. But sometimes that bag of gold is not a good idea, and you need to follow your instincts to know which opportunities to take, and which to leave behind.

My husband comes home last night with a friend of a friend he just met, who is a screenwriter, wannabe filmmaker. (Note: my hubby is a video director, cameraman and editor). This guy is in town for one month. He and my husband decided in their short time chatting last night that they wanted to shoot a short film while Screenwriter-guy was in town. (Reminder: that means one month to write, produce, cast, shoot, etc.) My hubby, being a supportive and encouraging hubby, brought the guy over to meet me, hoping he and I could collaborate and write the script together. This guy, though very nice, seemed to have a very different perception of humor than me. He’s also a forty-something who seems to be a little unemployed(?) and it makes me wonder what he’s been up to if he’s still doing projects like this at this point in his “career.” My concept of “synchronicities” tells me I should jump on this joint venture. But my gut instinct…

Is this a bad idea? Couldn’t hurt, right? Or could it? If these guys really think they can do this whole thing in a month, it’s gonna be one crazy fucking month. I have tried to work creatively with people I clashed with in the past and it’s an energy-suck. I’ve also been trying to sell one of my own screenplays and get one of my plays produced. This would certainly take away whatever free time I have for the next month.

I’m being offered an opportunity to work on a short film – I don’t want to work on this short film.

Back when I was trying to be a working actor in LA, I was looking to join a theater company. I submitted my headshot and resume to a ton of theaters. I got a phone call from one of them and the man on the phone told me I would have to apprentice for the theater for a year before I could audition to act in one of their productions. My first thought was, “I don’t want to be your slave, I want to be an actor.” I politely declined. Well that theater company ended up being a pretty big deal, and could’ve been a big opportunity for me. But my first instinct was to follow my fear of being taken advantage of, and I followed it. And I never got a career as a working actor. Coincidence?

On the flip side, here’s one last story- I had my biggest audition of my career. It was for a quick scene in a movie, between me and Christopher Walken. I went all the way to “producers” and it was between me and two other women for the role. I was so anxious about it that I messed up one of my only lines. I didn’t get the part. I was so angry with myself. I felt like because I had messed up this audition my whole acting career was a total bomb. The movie with the Christopher Walken scene ended up being the Hollywood flop, Gigli, starring J-Lo and Ben Affleck. Looks like it wasn’t supposed to be my big break anyway.

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