I watched the Golden Globes last night in anticipation of the Oscars next month. I could’ve done without Angelina’s enormous red lipstick and Seth Rogan’s lame erection joke, but it was fun all in all.

I know next to nothing about fashion. I’m not one of those females who cares about fashion, or knows the name of any designers (unless Sarah Jessica mentions them in Sex and the City.) But I have to say, I got really into the fashion last night.

So here are some fashion reviews from someone who knows nothing about fashion:

She looked f*cking awesome. But the top didn’t flatter her boobs.
Elle could wear a Campbell’s soup can and look amazing.
Boxy + Gorgeous Freido = Boxy Freido
Even with Elle there, Kate was the most stunning thing at the awards.
At first I was like, “What, Laura?” And then I thought, “Ooh I likey!”
Lea, you’re not famous enough to pull off this dress.
I love you, Meryl, I do. But please let a professional dress you.
It looks better when it moves. Standing there, she looks like she’s wearing my grandmother’s curtains.
Oh no, no, no, no, no. We had a Spin Art machine at a 3rd grade carnival that we used to make tie-dye shirts just like this.
Some women wear designer to look their best. Others, well… Mila, did you forget that you have boobs?