How to become a successful writer:

  1. Get a computer
  2. Get an idea
  3. Write the idea down in the form of a story or script
  4. Proof the idea to make sure it doesn’t blow chunks
  5. Call up your uncle or best friend or sister-in-law who’s a famous publisher / movie producer and ask them to make it for you
  6. Stir and let simmer for 20 days
  7. Fluff with a fork and serve