You’re here. You’re finally here. How I love you. How I despise you.

I don’t want to repeat myself in writing about the Oscars again. I wrote about it in a previous post a couple of months ago. But today is the day. The Oscars are here.

I will put $5 in the jar and participate in the betting pool for the winners. I know you’re dying to know my wannabe-psychic, pseudo-knowledgable predictions so you yourself can win your Oscar pool. Well, if you want to score about 16/24 (which is usually how I end up) then follow my advice. I’m not going to break down every nominee, as I have a child to tend to. But here are the bigguns:

BEST PICTURE: The Artist

  • The Artist (It’ll win. It’s got so many nominations. Everyone’s in love with it.)
  • The Descendants (This one would’ve gotten it, I believe, if it came out a couple of months later and if The Artist didn’t come out afterwards.)
  • Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close (It’s been ten years. If it came out in 2002, it would have won.)
  • The Help (Not a Best Picture winner.)
  • Hugo (Close call, but it’s still a “kids’ movie”.)
  • Midnight in Paris (Just another Woody Allen movie. Why would this one win?)
  • Moneyball (Not a Best Picture winner. It’s just not, though I thoroughly enjoyed myself.)
  • The Tree of Life (No one saw it. Oh wait, I did. Yawn.)
  • War Horse (People loved it, but there hasn’t been as much buzz, or as many nominations as the Artist.)

Deserving?: No. It’s a really cool movie, and it’s different, which is great. But “best picture” should be for the all around best picture, not the movie that tickled everyone’s fancy. I’m surprised Ryan Gosling didn’t get nominated for either Drive or Ides of March… I was totally wrong on that prediction.

BEST ACTOR: George Clooney

  • Demian Bichir (No one saw “A Better Life.” Then again, I made the same argument about Marion Cotillard in La Vie en Rose.)
  • George Clooney (It’s “his turn.” And people loved that movie… as did I.)
  • Jean Dujardin (People may not like the fact that they’ve never seen him before.)
  • Gary Oldman (Hasn’t been nominated in ages. Maybe this’ll mean a win for him next year, or the year after.)
  • Brad Pitt (I don’t know if people respect him that much yet. He’s got more press about being Angelina’s husband than about being an actor.)

Deserving?: Yes. I think he did a great job.

BEST ACTRESS: Michelle Williams… Mmm, maybe…

  • Glenn Close (She hasn’t been nominated for an Oscar since Dangerous Liaisons in 1989. If they waited this long to nominate her again, they’re not about to give it to her.)
  • Viola Davis (There’s such a good chance she could win. I’m almost about to change my prediction. Plus, she was passed up for the Best Supporting award for Doubt a few years ago.)
  • Rooney Mara (I don’t think so. I just don’t think so.)
  • Meryl Streep (It’s gonna have to be something huge for them to give her another one. They’ll just keep nominating her every year until then.)
  • Michelle Williams (I think it’s “her turn” since she was passed up in Blue Valentine – and people love her for mothering the late Heath Ledger‘s children.)

Deserving?: I didn’t see it, but she’s been surprisingly good since she totally sucked on Dawson’s Creek.

Okay, gotta go take care of my child now. Good luck in your own polls! And remember, don’t blame me if you don’t win- I never win, so copying me is just plain dumb.

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