Don’t Worry, You’re Damned Regardless

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An Open Letter to Gwyneth

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Day 62 – My Uterus and my Job are NOT Taking My Career Away!

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I wasn’t sure if I was going to write this post about how I felt like I was failing at my mission to get a writing career before my second child is born in early August, or if I was going to write it about the announcement of the Oscar nominees (I love you, Oscar, and am always equally disappointed in you), or if it was going to be another struggling attempt at motivation. Well, I’m doing the final option, with a little added optimism.

I have not been focusing on my writing career as much as I planned. Running two businesses from home, which means having to pursue new clients, produce three promo videos simultaneously for two different clients, all while taking care of my daughter, and dealing with crazy pregnancy nausea and fatigue, has resulted in a much-slowed (is that proper English?) process. In short, I’m not writing. I’m not thinking about writing. I’m not thinking about my career.

In the last 62 days, I did finish the rewrite on a screenplay and a play… I did submit one of my plays to about 12 theater companies…¬†I did¬†contact all of my successful industry people in the attempt to get my screenplays read and sold… The truth is, I can’t go back to writing today. I don’t have time. It makes me sad, but I’m trying not to beat myself up about it. We have a video shoot Sunday we have to prepare for, an expo we’re exhibiting at in two weeks, and a client who is now looking for a treatment and a semi-treatment for two videos we’re shooting for them. I don’t have the time.

And the real truth is, if I had the time, I’m still not sure what I would do…

I don’t know who else to contact about my completed play and screenplays, and I feel like if I start writing a new script then I’m just going to keep cycling through scripts without ever selling anything. I have to focus on selling what I’ve already written. But I don’t know where to go next.

Day 44 – Parenting Makes Everything Take Longer

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So I didn’t actually lie, I just didn’t live up to what I believed I was going to do. I said yesterday that I was going to the post office. Well, my hubby was out off-roading in Massachusetts all day yesterday (yes, he goes out with teams of other large vehicles, and drives our X-Terra through incredibly rough terrain that was never meant for a human to drive over) and I was on baby duty from 7:20am when she woke up until 10pm when she fell asleep. So I never made it to the post office. Today is Sunday, so it’ll have to wait until tomorrow.

It’s fine. But it’s another clear example of how parenting your child puts everything else on hold. And makes your writing career take longer to take off.

While she was napping yesterday, however, I watched a movie on TV with Uma Thurman called “Motherhood“. It was a little “eh”, but terrifyingly familiar. It actually made me kind of uncomfortable how much it was exactly like my life. If you’re a work-at-home mother, I highly recommend watching it.